nurhidayahyusoff :*

Countdown to 2012.

2012-01-01T10:29:00.002+08:00

1st January 2012!
It's a HOT, HOT, HOT BEAUTIFUL Sunday!
Yeahh, it's the first day of the year 2012! And i'm on a wonderful brunchh shift (:

Happy New Year to ALL my beloved friends and family! May this 2012 brings all of you a lot, a lot, a lot and a lot of fun, laughter, joy and happiness! YAYY!

Anyway, Countdown 2011 was AWESOMELY Awesome! I welcome the new year with MY Girlfirend! Yes, MYYYYYYYYY gf! Like finally I'm not alone or working- I know right! I did work laaa, but I ended at 10pm. And so it was a dancing-all-night-long night! We were at none other than KuDeTa Club. Hahhh! Dance Dance Dance all night longgggg- my favorite thing to do. I was high with COKE! I did not had much alcohol other than a SIP of Kahlua- cos i wanted to try it? :) LOL!
And so the club was packed with peopleeeeeeee, drunk and happy people! We left the club at around 4ishh, almost 5am in the morning :)

HAHHHH! Then gf and I went to our sleeping place for a powerful nap before another shift starts.
My awesome gf's shift starts at 7am. Hence, she only had like an hour of sleep? :S
Heeeee!

Happy New Year Everyone! xoxo!

MerryChristmas!

2011-12-26T14:24:00.001+08:00

Today is Monday. And it totally feels like a Sunday.

Anyway, yesterday was Christmas! Merry Christmas to all my friends celebrating it this year! Gf and I went to Mother’s workplace for Christmas Lunchh. Oh Roast Beef, you are so yummy. We got our Christmas gifts from Gloriaaaaaaaaa! Yayy!
Before going to work, we went to get random goodies for everyone at work. We had like almost 90++ candies, chocolates and other assortments. It was funn going around the restaurant and club giving people little tidbits to make them smile on Christmas Day! YAYY, mission accomplished successfully!

2011 is going to end in a few days time. It has been an ‘Oh, so awesome year’ this year. I’ve been at KuDeTa for almost 11 months. Damn, can’t believe it’s almost a year I’ve stayed up the rooftop of MarinaBaySands. Excellent. Considering that it’s my first full time job- I think I’m doing not too bad. Hehhh!

And I’m going to welcome 2012 with my Awesome Girlfriend this yearrrrrrrr! So excitinggggg. I remembered working on every 31st December for the past few years while others are watching the newyear’s countdown live or on television. Hehhh. If there’s one word to describe 2011- it would be COMMITMENT (:
1. Full-time Staff @ KuDeTa Singapore
2. Full-time Partner with Emeliana Suhaime (((((:

Have a great Monday everyone!

I got a beautiful wallet from YveSaintLaurennnnnnnnnnnn and a pretty clutch from SteveMaddennnnnn. ThankkkkYouuu loveeeeee :D

LOVEYOU!

2011-12-15T23:17:00.002+08:00

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen :)

I'm at level 57, waiting for GF to end her shift. Since I've got nothing else or left to do until the next morning- I have decided to just visit the blog and shoutout here :)

Anyway, GF was super emo this afternoon after reading my past archives. Hmm. Saying what's past is past may not be enough to assure her and make her feel the way she felt before reading it. I know right. But then again, really- what's past is past. No doubt I used to have things going on with Arab- but that was before I even know her. Everyone has their own past, be it pleasant or not. As for me, what matters is what's happening now and later; not then :)

Yupp yupp. Anyway, I miss Singapore a lot. I've been travelling on my OFF days and leave for the past 6 weeks. God knows when was the last time I visited Orchard Road- or even going for lunch/dinner/ supper without having to go to work before or after the meal. LOL:)

This month has been a wonerful month thus far. Pampered in so many ways alreadyyy.
The year's coming to an end. Good luck to all my friends out there.

Pray for me.
Pray for us.

Nothing.

2011-11-28T23:45:00.002+08:00

If there's one thing to look forward to, it will be heading to Batam this coming Thursday, 1st December. I seriously need a getaway. I am TIRED. And for some reasons, I feel shitty.

2009 nightmare returns.

2011-11-23T02:22:00.002+08:00

I think I should just start blogging again.
Like how I used to often do so.

Some people just love interfering into others' life.
At times I wonder. Is it because they're so bored that they cannot find anything else to do? Or simply because it's their favourite past time >.<

Hmmm. I am extremely devastated.

Sayang De :)

2011-09-18T15:58:00.001+08:00

A little more each day :)

Selamat Hari Raye :)

2011-09-12T00:23:00.002+08:00

It's been a hard day's night.

Time flies super fast that it's again, the end of the week. Pretty nice Sunday evening, awesome weather to stay home and cuddle in bed :)

Currently at work, waiting for Miss Emeliana to end her shift and transport at 0145hours.

Oh and anyway,
Selamat Hari Raya to ALL my Muslim friends, walau di mana jua kau berada :)
Semoga berbahgia di samping keluarga tercinta di bulan yang mulia ini!
Sayang semuanya :)

Pissed.

2011-08-15T00:17:00.002+08:00

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Tell me.
Is being sensitive worse than being insensitive?

Saturday, 13th.

2011-08-13T15:29:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone :)

I’ve got ten million things to tell the whole world with regards to what I’ve been up to.

I’m like a little happy girl whose only problem is what to wear, every morning when she wakes up from sleep. Life has never been better ever since all my problems are settled during the first half of this year.

I’ve decided to stick to one full-time job without any part-time positions at other places. It’s sooo not me, but I think it’s the best solution to have my life fixed in a more organized manner. I realized I need plenty of rest, time to spend with my loved ones. Things isn’t like before when I had to have FOUR part-time jobs at any one time. I thought about it thoroughly, I need to stabilize work with life activities. 10hours a day, five days a week is more than sufficient for me. The rest should be wasted on the necessities like sleep, and love. Yupp yupp!

And of course, for some who has yet to be informed- I have…
The world’s Awesome Girlfriend to be with.

Her name is Emy, and she is incredibly awesome (:

Funny, no?

2011-07-20T16:39:00.000+08:00

Craving Craving Craving :(

2011-07-20T12:36:00.001+08:00

Craving for these spectacular buffalowings and all time favourite pizza :(

Dear God, Please Keep Her Safe.

2011-06-29T12:41:00.000+08:00

It hurts me to see her in pain :(

3rd month since 21st.

2011-06-18T07:12:00.002+08:00

Good morning, ladies :)

A lovely Saturday morning to start with. Rainy, awesome, nice weather to snuggle up in bed with the loved ones. But too bad, I've gotta work this awesome morning. But it's alright- going to work means I can have millions of things to look forward to. Maybe not millions, just one. And maybe not something, just someone :)

Oh wells. So, the week has been behaving well since Monday. Nothing disappoint me, at all!
I had one of the greatest time with Emeliana on Wednesday evening. From meeting MamaLynn at USQ, followed by dinner at Mount Sophia and then the night at her place. My off days has never been like my OFF day ever since I came to KuDeTa. Like finally. A great evening with one of the most wonderful soul on earth.

And then, HOME. Settling down pretty well. I love my new home. It may not be what I visualized it to be, but again- being with Mama and Papa under one roof just make everything else complete. The younger ones are having their school vacation- and somehow I wished that I too, am able to take a month break from clocking in and out from several systems :)

I wanna go National Museum, Fort Canning, Henderson Park and Woodlands Waterfront with YOU!

logically immuned.

2011-06-12T23:14:00.002+08:00

Nobody said it was easy, I know.

But seriously- Just what did I do, that I deserve this punishment. Why can't the heart and mind walk hand-in-hand and ensure that matters don't clash among themselves?

I had a bad day. Bad, bad day- after so long guys. I've had enough- really. I am tired of being myself. Tired of being nice to people. People around me.

I was by the Bay- I fell asleep. If papa hadn't called me earlier- I would have continue sleeping by the bay till tomorrow. Mentally exhausted, evilly tortured by the heart, I can just give up on myself at any point of time.

I'm so screwed ah. Why did things end up this way?

Why must life be so complicated?

Why can't the heart be honest?

Again, if it's my fault- I apologise.

But- just, what did i do? that i deserve all these?

Mentally Tested.

2011-06-11T07:19:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Again it's my breakfast shift at the lobby :)

It's freezing like there's no tomorow down here. Anyway, I am feeling kinda irritated by Syed's first WhatsApp message that he sent to me early in the morning, like at 0600hours. I seriously have got no idea as to - what the hell is his problem with me. Addressed me as some sundal shit early in the morning.

Boobooboo. Things have been really mentally challenging for me since the past few days. When the heart and the mind collides when it comes to making decision, I often find myself in despair.

I really hope that God will give me the strength to face all these madness.
Seriously, I'm in love with her :)

What's on your mind?

2011-06-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

EMY SUHAIME :)

Breakfast!

2011-05-27T07:06:00.004+08:00

Hi All (:

Ahahahaha! I know right, it's been ages la since I last came here.

Been really really, extremely and awfully busy with work and my new home. Yippee!

Today I'm like super duper enthu to blog lor. I woke up at 3am in the morning just now~ feeling super excited to go work uhh. Only super idiotic people will be so enthu at 3am! Even mama said that I'm a nuisance in the wee hours. Cos i like practically on all the lights at home and music a full blast. Plus, I was singing loudly while bathing. Heeee :)

I took the first train from Macpherson, and walk all the way to Marina Bay Sands from Promenade MRT station. Nobody would walk, I know. But I jus felt like walking ahh. Just the bridge, the morning air, the highway, flyer and me. So peaceful, so Di (:

I wanna tell the whole world that my life has been splendid, awesome and irresistably fun since I turned 21. Everything felt so complete. Imma one happy soul, drowned in my own world.

Have you had your breakfast, babies?

If only I can throw those Wedges.

2011-04-16T15:52:00.005+08:00

I feel like punching her face. Idiot, you're lucky that I hae a super duper extremely high level of patience. If i wasn't because of Peter or Clayton- I would have thrown the box of wedges right to your face. Phew. Maybe what Uncle Eddy said is indeed true. I can never get angry for more than three seconds. Hmm. I had a great evening yesterday. Thanks to Muni, Yauyau, my sister and of course, Shaikha. Dinner at Astons is never a disappointment. So full! Finally met my craving to eat the BAKED POTATO (:

After dinner, headed towards Arab Street- the current favourite hang-out venue. Ate pita bread, two pieces of wedges and drink my strawberry tea. I was so UPSET for the past few days. I felt super duper TERRIBLE since days back. Thank God my days were occupied by the nicest people on earth. From Abang to Muni to Shafik and to Shaikha.

After the long sessions of talking, I've finally made up my mind. After today- HE'S NOT WORTH THE EFFORT. I won't hate you. I will still appreciate you- for who you are, for who you have been. I will continue to love you- there's nothing wrong with it, at all. No matter what they say, no matter what happens.

19th March, 2011

2011-03-20T22:06:00.004+08:00

Heartfelt THANKS to ALL who made my 21st Birthday one of the most memorable day in my life.

I am so touched by the MANY BEAUTIFUL WISHES and GIFTS.

Be it SMALL or BIG presents;

SHORT or LONG wishes;

They are VERY MEANINGFUL (:

Thank you very VERY much for everything. I am still speechless, until this very moment!

happpyfunn day!

2011-03-16T12:12:00.004+08:00

Good Wednesday morning, loves (:

I know, I know- that I haven't been updating things here for more than a month. Actually, it's a month and a dayyy! I was busy with work la, as usual. Nothing new. But I've got FRESH news to tell the whole world.

Yes, new and freshhhh =D

Okay, so yesterday was 15th March. It was MAMA's birthday. I haddd a mini celebration with the family last night once I'm done with work. Work ended at 2130hours. Papa fetched me from the lobby, and headed towards Arab Street for a meal. We had so much fun laughing and teasing one another as a family. Nothing feels better than spending quality time with my very ownnn blood.

Oh oh! And I sempat singgah BBQ at Central to say a few things to Abang. Until today, you're still the best manager I ever had. No words can describe how much tolerance you have on me, I know. And I won't disappoint you in any way during my journey as a career woman- this, I promise you (:

I miss working long hours with you. I miss having staff meal togetherrrrrrr.

Not forgetting, yesterday was 15th March! It's been exactly a month ever since I've stepped into the real world. I'll talk more about it in my NEXT post (:

The real world.

2011-02-16T09:24:00.002+08:00

Andddddd...

Yesterday was officially my first day working at KuDeTa. I'd say, it's a very polite working environment at the restaurant side. Apparently it was Andy's first day too. And so I met sooooo many ex-colleagues working at the same place. Lulu is as crazy as she has always been. Kiki wanted to strangle me for working at the restaurant side. Roy was merajok-ing cos I only hugged Andy and did not notice him. Bob was stunned upon the relations with Abang. Errmmm, my executive, Natalia- is a very nice lady. Perry and mommy were very encouraging. And Arab was being an idiot, and a monster. So that makes him an idiotic monster. LOL.

Oh oh oh. There was Amily, Karen, Mabel, Johana, Rita, Lulu and myself on the GRA side. Pretty and funny girls they have there. OH YA, i was having my dinner at the TDR, and then a security guy from KDT suddenly popped by my side and asked "You mind if I join you guys for dinner". I nodded my head, gesturing that he could join us. I was being nice la okay.

And so the evening went pretty smoothly, except for the fact that it feels uncomfortable when you can see people staring at you from the corner of your eyes. Like, "Did i forget to wear my bra or something?".
Hahaha. But it's okay I suppose. Probably I'll get used to it. Yupp yupp. There were guests who pulled me from where I was standing just to pose a photo with them. I was like, "Err, you could have asked before pulling?". LOL. And I've to deal with superbly touchy drunk-ed guests.

And so I conclude- that my first day at KuDeTa was indeed pleasant.
Oh, exclude the negatives. I don't play politics. Not yet, and not will- I hope.

I'll update more about things here. Speaking of updates- I really wanna jot down issues about Nikki. But then again, I told myself- Nothing about her should occupy my blog space. Cos she ain't worth any space here (:

Good day people. Missed my bestfriends many many, ALREADY!

somanywordstosay.

2011-02-11T13:16:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahhim (:

My first word when I stepped out of the house gate this morning.
Hopefully today's gonna be a decent and wonderful day for everyone.

Anyway, I had rice with SambalSotong before I left home. It was too tempting to resist. Hehh. Today's my last day of school you know, other than the 4 days of UT next week.

Abang Hafis.
Today is going to be a very meaningful day for you. Your birthday, and your solemnization day. Unfortunately, I'm unable to attend the solemnization ceremony due to some other commitments. But I'll be at your place from tomorrow morning onwards, until Sunday evening. All the best for later, dear brother =D

ByeBye!

2011-02-02T11:45:00.002+08:00

A month has passed since we stepped into the year 2011. So many changes happened in a month. So many things touched my heart. Too much incidents opened my eyes. But as we know, all things happened for a reason. And as for some, even reasons can’t explain the phenomenon as to why things happened.

School is ending in ONE week’s time. And that would mean that my FIRST full-time job will commence in TWO weeks time. It’s pretty scary cos now that it’s a full-time job, the responsibilities are much heavier. I’ve been a part-timer all my life; since I was 15. I’m leaping into a different world, I know. I hope that things will settle down fast, and I will be able to adapt to it soon enough.

I’ll be heading off to Batam with both adiks, my girlfriends and KakNor with her boyfriend in a couple of hours. We’re going to spend our CNY holidays at Batam- to relax and rejuvenate. Hopefully we’ll have a safe trip there. As you all know, for the past few days- the weather has been a killer; and the sun has been hiding. This is my first time I’m organizing the FIRST getaway with friends. I hope things are manageable, and that Allah will as far as possible keep us from any danger or mishap that may happen.
Insya’Allah.
Amin.

Oh, and to ALL my Chinese fellow friends.
Especially DREXLER ONG.
Happy Lunar New Year. And may the new year brings about more fortunes for you and your family (:

SO HAPPY!

2011-01-20T11:00:00.006+08:00

Oh Oh Oh!

It's been almost 3 weeks Daya never update anything here. Ahhhhh. I've got millions of things to say here. But I hope I've got more time to do so.

Hmmm. I'm currently doing Human Resource for today's module. Not that bad, touching on issues with regards to retrenchment and retirement. At least there's some relevance to life applications. Yupp. Anyway, today is already problem number 13- which means i'm left with two more weeks. Yes, did I just say that- YES, TWO MORE WEEKS! And I can say "BYEBYE" to Republic Poly *wave hands*. *WAVE HANDS*

Happy banget :)

I've got 10 000 things to do. And so many things to look forward to :)

FYP, ending in FIVE days. OMG OMG OMG.

Ohh. And monster, thanks for the 10 million surprises you gave me just this week.

So sweet :)

Reflection 2010.

2010-12-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Reflections 2010.

January:
1) Countdown at work, HEAVEN'S LOFT. Abang, MamaLYNN, Izzat and myself. We were having so much fun at Orchard Central's Lobby.

February:
1) AYU and HA's Anniversary Celebration. It is one of those times I felt proud of myself, for making two souls happy in one night.

March:
1) Happy 20th Birthday. I was with no one else but SHAIKHA. Thanks for remembering my birthday. I was at work, working- when she came and get me change my clothes for my birthday dinner. Thanks SHAI, i will never forget this day (:
2) NIKKI and Coffeeclub. I swear I had the worst experience in Coffeeclub since I started in 2005. God, I faced many different kinds of colleagues in CC. I tolerated all my managers issues. But when it come to Nikki, I really don't know how to handle her. It's because of her that my favourite Job turns nasty.

April:
1) Little Sister's Birthday! She was excited to go to Orchard to celebrate her 16th Birthday. And I had to fetch and send her to and fro cos she has got no idea how to travel around Town. Omg. Unbelievable, she never stepped into Orchard for the past 16 years of her life.

May:

June:

July:
1) My 1st day at TAB. First time working in a place out of my comfort. It's not a restaurant like Coffeeclub or Heaven's Loft. It's more like to a Bar, Club or LiveBand Venue. I met new people, like totally new.

August:
1) TAB's Grand Opening Ceremony! It was one of the most memorable day of my career experiences. Well, I never had any GrandOpening shit before in my life. So yeah, I gotta dressup and look pretty for once. Hehh.
2) Qayyum's Birthday. Hehh. I bought him a birthday gift. Something that I've always wanted a guy to use. So I surprised him on the day before his actual birthday. Well, since he's the only one that I used to like. And I remembered him saying, "You always wanted to be the 1st".
3) Geylang Bazaar for the 1st Time with a guy. Ahaha. I've never been to the Bazaar with no one other than the girls and the family. This year I went with my favourite colleague at TAB.

September:
1) HariRayaAidilfitri. For the first time, the family celebrated Hari Raya without my beloved grandparents. It was so sepi and sad. But somehow it keeps me close to them. Somehow it constantly reminds me how much they meant to me.

October:
It's the worst month of 2011. No comments.

November:
1) I went to "CLUBBING" for the 1ST time with Sha'ari. It wasn't planned at all. It was supposed to be a drinking session for his friend who ORD-ed. And i swear, and i dare to say that Clubbing isn't my kinda thing. That, will be the first and the last time I ever have fun in a club (:
2) Hari Raya Haji- Went for Korban with papa. So funn, but yet sedih. Late grandfather used to love eating the fresh meat. Hmmm :(
Nevertheless, thanks to Syah for making this year's a little bit more special.
3) I bought a MACBOOK for myself. So happy to finally own one. I haven't been indulging in gadgets for so long. So yeah, finally something new for me to play with. My favourite toy, as for now =D

December:
1) Abang Amy and Kak Nora's wedding. Hopefully they will last till many many generations. And i can get many many more nieces and nephews =D
2) My dream became reality when my eye caught A during Abang Amy's Solemnisation. He was perfectly what I have always seen in a perfect guy. Come to think of it, it's really sweet how we got to know each other. It happens one in a blue moon. He used to say, it happens once in 23 years of his life =D
3) Obek Salmah meet with an unexpected mishap. Up to date, it has been 2 weeks since she has been unconscious. All I'm wishing is - for her to open her eyes and at least smile to all of us who have been waiting continuously for her since day one she was admitted to the hospital. And guys, please have her in your prayers, Salmah Binte Salim.

By the time this post is automatically posted, the clock will strike midnight and i'll be at TAB working until 3am.

2010. It has been a bad bad year. The year I was exposed to things that I'm not supposed to be doing. Hmm. Despite all those, there are several incidents which I will never forget.

And hence I'll say goodbye to 2010 with a warm smile;
with hopes that 2011 will be a far better year for the entire family, 7 friends for eternity and 1 beautiful monster.

May the upcoming year be a fruitful one for everyone of us.
Insya'allah.
Amin.

lunchtime.

2010-12-20T10:55:00.002+08:00

a silent afternoon.

I'll be working at TAB from 5pm (EVERY SINGLE DAY), from today onwards. There's something about TAB that kinda hinders my every step to go to work. What's wrong with TAB these days? Or issit just me? :(

I hate Abang for teaching and guiding me too much with work. I hate him for installing valuable lessons and technique when it comes to dealing with work matters. He made me fall in love with working around people coming from different walks of life. And when I finally can't stop loving my job, he left. Abang, I missed you and I really do. No one cares for me at work, like you always do. No one makes the clock ticks faster. No one makes me laugh anymore. Come back, please.

Shaikha, Safirah and Rasyad. Kak Nor and Abang Fir. Thanks for keeping my evening occupied last night. We had dinner at Sultan Cafe, makan besar lo. And then headed for Sufi for our normal lepak session. Did i just use the word lepak? Ahaha. Well, i love Sufi because I don't have to sit down on the floor and cross my legs during the Sheeee-Shaaaa session. There's something about the legs that cannot stay at the same position for too long cos later, Semut-Semut arh. Hahaha. And also, Sufi's StrawberryTea is incredibly awesome.

Shai, Saf and Syad ended my day so nicely. Thanks buddies. I may not have the "Sisters/Brothers for life" kinda thing. But i do have friends like Shai, Saf, Ain and Angel for eternity, i hope. And i'm really thankful for their presence since day one.

Lastly, A.
Everytime I feel like I'm missing you- I'll recall how we first got to know each other.

I love looking at you.

Don't ask me why. I just do.

recover soon, please.

2010-12-20T00:07:00.005+08:00

Good morning people.

I'm currently still wide awake. Unable to sleep, thinking of Obek Salmah's condition. After a day of not-so-impressing day at Marina Bay Sands Hotel, we went to visit Obek Salmah at SGH.

And so I was bunking in at room number 2260. The everything was nice (considering that it was a VIP suite), except for the fact that the accessibility of the whole hotel is super leceh meceh. I kinda felt rimas about it- Hmm. I think I still prefer Swissotel at Stamford to Marina Bay Sands.

Went swimming at the Infinity Pool. Initially it was exciting- but after some time (HAHAHA), nothing is great about it except when you're at the edge; looking at the scenery. Oh, and A was working. There's something about him that fears me, like totally. Hmmm. After a period of swimming, went back to the room and prepared to go to the hospital to visit dear Aunty.

I was stunned when I saw her condition- so weak, so helpless and motionless. All I could do was in fact, nothing. She was the main pillar of the family, other than my uncles. It all happened in one night. No words could actually describe how I felt when I saw her. The worst part was to think that it could have been my mom. I put myself in Julie's shoes, I cried endlessly.
I'll pray for her speedy recovery.

I'll make a point to visit Obek before I go to work. Since work starts at 5pm everyday, sparing some time in the afternoon for her- should not be an issue. Like i'd say earlier, it could have been my mom. To my dear family and friends, please have my dear aunt in your prayers- Salmah Binte Salim, who is fighting endlessly for her life.

I believe in Impossibilities, I also believe in Miracles.

All i'm wishing is for a miracle. Is it too much to ask for? :(

monster is missed.

2010-12-17T14:37:00.004+08:00

I'm currently waiting for the clock to strike 3pm sharp.
Shaikha's gonna fetch me from Paya Lebar MRT- and we're heading towards the Singapore Flyers. This, will be the 3rd time I'm on board the flyers. All because I've got 1-for-1 tickets, thanks to the Monopoly game by McDonald's.

Anyway, i'm working at TAB tonight- from 9pm to 3am. How How How? If only I can get a BIG BIG surprise while sitting down at my desk. *wait long long la* Work is work- I'm looking forward to Sunday morning (without the rain falling). So that I can swim swim at the Infinity Pool. Hehh, on top of that- I can finally see A at work. Rindu ah.

Hmm. Ain just left for Cambodia. I hope she will have fun there. Semoga perjalanan Ain dilindungi Allah. Insya'allah.

I'll be home alone this holiday.
The entire family's going overseas. Sings *tinggallah hamba seorang diri*

Why am I feeling this way?
If it's right, show me.
If it's wrong, stop me.

Untuk Renungan Semua.

2010-12-09T11:22:00.003+08:00

Amalan Harian. Ayat Ayat Penting.

Barang siapa yang menghafal tujuh kalimat,
dia dipandang mulia di sisi Allah dan Malaikat;
serta diampuni dosa-dosanya walau sebanyak busa laut.

1. Mengucap Bismillah pada tiap-tiap hendak melakukan sesuatu.

2. Mengucap Alhamdulillah pada tiap-tiap selesai melakukan sesuatu.

3. Mengucap Astaghfirullah jika lidah tersilap perkataan yang tidak patut disebut.

4. Mengucap Insya'Allah jika merencanakan berbuat sesuatu di hari esok.

5. Mengucap Lahaula Wala Kuwwata Illabillah jika menghadapi sesuatu yang tidak disukai atau diingini.

6. Mengucap Innalillahi wa Innailaihi Rajiun jika menghadapi dan menerima musibah.

7. Mengucap Lailaha'illaallah Muhammad Rasulullah sepanjang siang hari sehingga tidak terpisah lidahnya dari tafsir Hanafi

Mudah-mudahan ingat, walau lambat

Mudah-mudahan selalu, walau sambil lalu

Mudah-mudahan jadi bisa, kerana sudah biasa.

mbs. day two.

2010-12-08T17:58:00.008+08:00

hello babes.

i'm currently at the CoffeeBeanstro at MBS shopping arcade, i call it. Cos it really looked like a shopping arcade when I first entered the doors of the mall. boohoo.

Well, I made plans to come here since last week already- to dropby and say HI to long lost Yazid- who has been enjoying work ever since he resigned from CC and started a whole new life with CoffeeBeans at MBS.

Oh wells. And so I'm here bloggin and chllin out while waiting for mister A to be done with his meetings and all. Oh, i met A and D at the MBS hotel just now before dropping by Beanstro. I collected my darling perfume from them and hang out with them for awhile. A slimmed down like a lot already. Hehh. She look like she's only 21 years old. HAHAHA. Best nye! It was nice to see D after so long. Afterall, she was the one who used to motivate me to sustain at Wheelock. Pretty sure she's happy with her current life activities now. As a friend, i'm glad that things are going well for her part. Hopefully she'll continue to live with this happiness for as long as she is able to. Insya'allah.

D: Daya- sekarang da berisi seyy.

A: Happy la. Badan pun naik.

HAHA! So happy- finally something that I've always wanted to hear all these while. Finally someone say i gaining weight. yes arh!

because this feeling is awesome (:

2010-12-08T03:08:00.000+08:00

it's almost a quarter after three.
and i'm still up and awake.

today was a relaxing (initially) and exciting (towards the end) day.
i was down with throat infection and heavy fever flu plus slight fever.
i realised that i RARELY fall sick, but when I do- it feels really terrible.
i was resting the whole day- as i really had nothing to do.

until until. my current addiction called. ahaha. meeting him was something to look forward to- that makes me go crazy. ahaha- don't ask me how and why it happened. and so i had dinner after dinner at marina square.

and then A came down to meet me and the cousin. absolutely pleasant. it was pretty embarrassing cos i had two idiots (kak nor and the noisy sis, as usual) creating millions of chaos when he's around. we cabbed to MARINA BAY SANDS HOTEL to drop him off- and then headed home.

i'm trying to accept things the way it was meant to be.
i don't meant to betray the heart.
babe, that chapter's coming to an end.

Ever since I saw you last Saturday, my world turned UPSIDEDOWN.
you kept me smiling non-stop =D

nice weekend. awesome monday!

2010-12-06T11:11:00.000+08:00

OMG. i'm damn excited- i tell you, i'm going crazy already. i'm smiling since the day startED - and i thank God for this beautiful gift. this beautiful gift is a friend that i just made this morning- but someone whom i captured since last Saturday.

the weekends was awesome- Abg Emy's wedding went really smooth. it can never be more successful than ever. finally he's tied the long awaited knot. really really happy for him. may you be blessed with a blissful marriage and have lots and lots and lots of children =D

I wanna get married ah. HEHEHEHE. but how to, when i don't even have one who is willing to share his lifetime with me? :(

tomorrow is Friday!

2010-12-02T11:51:00.004+08:00

I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else,

because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.

WTF. I was fb-ing when i saw this on one of my friend's wall post. At first i was like, "Hmm, good one". But after some thoughts- it's really badddd to say such things about our own past. Correct what. Unless your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is a pure asshole who ruined a certain part of your life, like entirely. HMMPH!

Luckily my exboyfriend was a nice boyfriend. Good thing he's finally settling down with someone already. For many will disagree that he's a nice guy, I still uphold my stand- And that he's a wonderful guy/man that- little of his kind can be made available in today times. Where can you find someone so 'family-man' in this current arena? The very 'abang' and 'good son' material thingy. One thing I can't deny- prolly it didnt work out because we were damn naive back then. OKAY- its just some random thoughts of the day.

RIGHT. I just had lunchh and i'm freaking full of fries, fish, coleslaw and scrambled eggs. I just uploaded princess Elle's birthday photos on fb- she's so cute. Oh, and speaking of little kids- i'm seeing my lovely nephews and nieces this weekend during ABANG AMY's wedding! OMG OMG! Can't wait, can't wait!

Time to fix an appointment with all my beauty technicians for this weekend.

Yayy yayy! Meni&Pedi for the nails and toes. Styling n treatment for the hair.

So fun so fun- oh, and did i mention that I got ANGRY recently? *die*

And guess what guess what?!

I bought a KATE SPADE bag and a PAIR OF HEELS from GUESS. wooohooo~

I'm waiting for ABANG to get me an authentic watch from TAG HEUER. Amaciam? *slapshead*

Princess's Birthday =D

2010-11-30T11:02:00.005+08:00

BOO. since morning, I've been feeling exceptionally lethargic. It's been a long time since I last felt this tired and helpless. I hope i'm not falling sick any sooner, at least not now- when I have so many ongoing and upcoming end-of-year events.

I'm planning to shop for business later. Starting a business isn't that easy afterall. If this works, it's gonna be Yahoo! =D

*i've always pray that God will give me health and strength at all times*

- so that I can continue to live life the way it is.

In addition, yesterday was Princess Elle Tiara's FIRST birthday! When kids are concerned, I can never say NO :)

I had a hard time looking for her gift cos all the kids dresses are soooo freakin cute. I wanna buy all- but dats kinda crazy. And hence I grab one, and leave the place. NO MORE LOOKING AROUND, i told myself. After muchh selections, I grab the OSHKOSHBGOSH original babysuit for Girls. SO CUTE!

Worthy Week

2010-11-29T11:03:00.004+08:00

I wish that you're here with me.

I want you to touch me.

The way you make me feel alive.

And it's Monday....... again (:

Last week has been really smooth and pleasant- except for the fact that I wished that my days were longer.

Friday i met SHAIKHA and have dinner at BBQ, and then the best place in town. Celebrated ZOO's birthday. Hmm. Happy Birthday Darling, best wishes from me! I hope u like de dinner that we had =D

Anywayssssss. I used to see Syahrul on the spot she stands. Everytime i'm at TAB, i somehow wished that i turned into a monster- or blind. Then i won't have to think about my feelings and become heartless, or see him everywhere I go. I missed him, a lot.

SATURDAY. Work was pleasant. From morning, till late night. MAK cooked for me stingray. And i got one fan at Thomson Plaza. Ahaha. I was at TAB at night. I had dinner with PING and then headed to work.

I missed NANA a lot. I missed Andy more. I missed Syahrul most.

Yesterday, Sunday.

I was working from 12noon to 11pm. I missed HL's brunch. I missed CC's dinner. Oh wells. And so i went to BBQ when I'm done. You know the feeling- when you got eyes watching you while you're working- it keeps you moving all the time. Thanks to that maintenance guy ah- HAHH. And so I made a new friend yesterday. He's funny, attached, and he's 23. And ABANG gave me a nice JUBAH. i look really sweet, at least dat's what my aunt says. =D

Thanks Abang =D

Syah, maybe you were right. Perhaps its not the time for us to meet, just yet. Your intention was indeed sweet. And your text ended my week in an extraordinary manner. And that you never know.

misterong.

2010-11-23T14:41:00.000+08:00

DREXLER is so sweet; am missing him badly ):

mama.papa.mng.abang.

2010-11-17T23:55:00.002+08:00

Hello darlings (:

I'm currently lying down on a massage armchair that Uncle brought home. Hehh. Nice, especially after a long day of so many things that happened.

Today marks another 1711. Every year on 1711- there's bound to be good things that will happen for me. And of course, this year wasn't a disappointment either. Today started off pretty hectic with the Korban thingy at the mosque, and then grabbing my wallet which i left behind yesterday. But then again, I didn't feel bored or empty like I always do.

It excites me like totally when my MNG texted me this morning. Ahaha. I missed him like crazy, and that he never knew about it. He came down to my place for a short meet-up since he's going to Tampines to meet the mommy. I was halfway dressed for visiting when he texted saying that he reached. I could do nothing but to rush down- hehh. Lindu Lindu Manyak Manyak lor (:

He looked super duper ultra sweet in his baju kurong please. We talked and catch up about several things that has happened ever since we departed like 3 weeks ago. As usual, nothing beats the feeling of having someone you're comfortable with by your side- speaking and sharing one million things that you feel like saying. Nice. He got himself a haircut. Aha, cute. Funny when he mentioned about the belt. All I know- I was having a simply nice time chatting with my long awaited mng.

At 1300hours, we both had to depart- again. I have to continue my make-up and get ready to go granny's house; and he had to leave to meet momm. See him off, as he take-off and make his way to Tampines. It was indeed a short 45 minutes kinda meetup- but i felt like as if he killed all the emptiness inside me since he left. Really. Thanks mng, for the effort to come down to my place- i appreciate it like totally. I will continue to appreciate you from far like I always do (:

At 1400hours, left for Granny's house. I swear i ate like there's no tomorrow. Got appetite to eat a lot- got mood to smile already. Finally papa can smile seeing me really happy. We headed to pioneer to visit my dad's favourite uncle. Fun la- to be kissed by so many nenek. I feel so loved. I feel that MY WORLD'S BEST NENEK is back to life. I feel that MY NENEK is so nearrrr. ATOK and NENEK- i miss you bothhh a lot. I did a lot of mistakes ever since you both left me. I've been such a disappointment :(

HMMM. I'm looking forward to have dinner at COFFEECLUB with SHAIKHA tomorrow. Da so long since we makannn there. i LINDU LINDU my ICED EARL VANILLA so muchhh =D

I wanna say thanks to the family for spending time with me today (:

Thanks to my MNG for carving SMILES onto my face.

Thanks to Zack, for the delicious food brought for my dinner.

Thanks to Abang- for being the BEST brother SINCE DAY ONE, UNTIL TODAY =D

*LOVE YOU ALL*

Alright, I wanna see people in my dreams. Goodnight love =D

oneoneslashoneone

2010-11-11T08:15:00.007+08:00

And at times, you never know who can open up your enclosed thoughts.

Good morning people (:

I'm early today. Feeling extremely positive, yet upset at the same time. But i'm pretty sure i'm more positive than upset. Hehh.

Anyway, I had my fifth FYP meeting already. Everything was smooth, except for the fact that we've still got plenty to rushh and things get a little tougher as we're almost reaching the mid-term evaluation deadline. I just hope that we're able to at least meet the requirements of the project.

Oh yes. I headed to NYDC at Velocity to have lunch cum dinner while waiting for Abang. Met ISHAK there as he was on shift. I was eating eating and eating when MUKHSIN came to the outlet. So both of them accompanied me throughout my meal there. It was like totally unplanned. But it was fun cos their presence kinda erased my disappointment about him. Unfortunately, it was only for awhile.

Had supper with the entire BBQ crew from Thomson and Northpoint at PRATAHOUSE last night. It has been a long time since I last had supper. It used to be my favourite meal. And somehow I realise that I missed going supper like so much.

How about this?

God created us.

He created us with a pen and a book.

He created us with a pen and a book to write our life story.

Unfortunately, he forgot to provide us with liquid paper.

We write our own story.

We are only the author.

People come and go.

People add characters and storyline to our book.

When they leave,

it means chapter the ends.

And when the chapter ends,

A new chapter begins.

It's all up to individual to create the respectives ending to our stories.

I have no intentions of betraying my heart. I swear.

Spoke to MNG this morning. It's good to hear that you're settling down smoothly despite being unwell.

Get well soon and enjoy the new venue (:

Abang, only you know.

2010-11-07T21:03:00.004+08:00

Clayton, the TAB's Manager.

If there's one bad thing about Sunday, it will be-
tomorrow's MONDAY (unfortunately)!

My weekends this time flies super duper extremely slowly. I did nothing but staying at home, resting, rejuvenating and recharging the body for the upcoming week. The upcoming week seems to be pretty packed-0. No time to rest lo. If there's one thing to look forward to, it will be the KENDURI at ABG EDIL's HOUSE next Saturday (:

Then i can meet ALL my UNCLES whom I've missed so much. Well, ever since ATOK left- the family rarely meet except on family occassions like kenduris, birthdays and hari raya. So, whenever there's a family occassion happening, i will be pretty excited. Yes arh =D

Oh, did I mentioned that I bought a Macbook? Heeeheeeheee. Like finally I owned ONE for myself. But i'm still kinda dumb with the navigation issues- getting lost every now and then. It takes time, I told myself. Heee. Last two weeks was a TOTAL shopping filled weekends. Fun giler. I bought EIGHT pair of HEELS, two SHIRTS, one DRESS, one BELT, one BAG and my long awaited PERSONAL HARDDISK. *happpyyyyy*.

Apart from that, nothing much happened- except for the fact that I went to ButterFac for a drinking session with SHA'ARI and friends last Friday. It was rather unplanned. I ended my 11hour shift work, headed home. And went out back with him to Clifford. Met Kinou and Hafis at Overeasy for awhile. Fun (:

TAB- SYAH left. ANDY left. Things get worst when Andy left. Farewell or ThankYou- both does matters. As to Syah, I hope you like the gift that I gave. And to Andy- I will miss you like effing giler babi. All the best guys.

And then SHAH and SHAIKHA- please come back faster. You both had to leave me at the same time. Syabas (:

I'm missing missing you!

unexplained.

2010-11-04T15:57:00.010+08:00

Sometimes someone

comes into your life

that changes everything.

Raise the standards,

Makes you laugh,

And makes you feel like you.

There is something about him

that you can't put into words

and even though

you're not with him,

you don't want to let him go.

misterb.

2010-11-04T12:56:00.003+08:00

How am i suppose to put it into words to you?

You need to know how i'm feeling now. It's too much of a complicacy that needs to be resolved. I like you, I really do. But I can't.

nak makan SATAY (:

2010-10-30T01:07:00.002+08:00

Before I go on further...

I wanna wish SUE a very very happy birthday (:
May she has many many more happy days to come.
And may she be blessed at all times =D
I love you! *hugs*

Anyways, i'm currently waiting for my SATAY and ROTI JOHN to arrive. I called up SPIZE to deliver. TSK TSK. It should be coming anytime sooner (:

School was as per normal. I talked to ABANG about SHA'ARI's case. And somehow we came up with our own judgements and assumptions. Abang and me can become lawyer to fight the case together. Best. Confirm win. Then Sha'ari will be away from any charges. Hehh, macam paham! >.<

By noon, I already had 3 heavy meals. Had dinner at FISH&CO with Shaikha. Da lame never meet her- rindu sekali :) We shopped at T-BAR and get outselves TWO tees. Then i went to PEDAL WORKS to get my shoe polishedd arhh. Nice already.

AIN, call me once you see this. I'm getting rimas and rimas-er already.

frenchfries

2010-10-28T14:46:00.004+08:00

I'm not in the mood already la. You can do whatever you want. I was thrashed, like totally. I'm only in the mood for SATAY. I wanna eat CHICKEN. I wanna eat cow. Yes. BEEF. STEAK. Jom.

Today's gonna be an extemely boring day. It's like, school to work and then to home. Unless a miracle happen, then something else will pop up! >.<

Anyway, yesterday was an IRONIC day. We had a looooonnng day with minimal accomplishments. Met SHA'ARI at noon- cos we need to finish up his statement that needs to be submitted to his lawyer. We reached 3 different places to find a spot- before we decided on just settling down at my place. Hmm. I was typing halfway when I realise that he clearly has got no relations to the case. What the hell was PATRICK thinking?! In my point of view, he just wanted to pull SHA'ARI into the picture so that he could share the charges that will be imposed on him. WTF. My friend is not in any position to be charged for any offences. Damn it.

Hehh. After we completed the statement, we had dinner cos Obek already prepared the dishes for us. Best. After the late lunch a.k.a early dinner- I went to washup for work, and then we left home. SHA'ARI send me to TAB and then headed towards home. He finished work in the morning, so he was rather shagged by the time he sent me to work.

Yesterday I felt wrong at night. I felt superbly weak and lethargic. Even Andy and Jeff said that I looked pale and sick.

And now i'm heading to Bishan. And i hope i can eat SATAY (:

ssstalker.

2010-10-26T13:31:00.001+08:00

2 weeks down. 13 more to go. School has been fun yet boring at the same time. It's pretty ironic, i know. But what else can be done? Hmmm. Drexler is not around, that adds on to the dread of coming to school. I guess I'll just have to endure for another 52 lessons before this semester ends. =D

YAYY. Guess what. I got myself one new stalker. wth mann. Congratulations to me. What was he tryinnaa do? OMG. I threw away the stalk that was SUPPOSED to be delivered to me. Euuuir. Harlo. I will never ever ever ever EVER accept any more stalk or stalks of flowers/ rose/ tulips/ whatever they are called ever again.

twelveth.

2010-10-13T00:15:00.002+08:00

I'm currently having a time of my own at room 525. I'm all alone and i need you now. Guilt feels me like totally.

Isn't it exactly a week ago?
Isn't it exactly a month ago?

Probably I deserve all these upsets that is happening now. There's no one else to blame. I chose to be involve in the game since the start. And i did mentioned, that in this game- there can only be one winner. It's obvious that I'm on the losing end. It was my actions that lead to this. It was my fault that it ended. And all that's happening now- is like a punishment that I've been asking for.

I'm trying my best to make things the way it should be. mamaLynn- did i make a mistake by falling in love with him? If falling for him is a mistake, why does it feels so right? :(

I missed you, and I really do.

solitude night.

2010-10-08T03:46:00.000+08:00

What am i doing?
What's next?

belatedbestfriend.

2010-10-02T23:53:00.001+08:00

Nothing beats the feeling of munching KinderBars with fresh Bananas. YummYumm! Hi Everyone, i’m currently at TAB- spending the night here. Not the whole night. Perhaps till 3am? (:

Today is WAN’s day. The last time we MET each other, it was about 2 years back? Firstly, many thanks to SHAIKHA, KAK NOR and the bf for accompanying me and making my day. Not forgetting, spending your precious few hours with me. Touching luhhh.

We were at Clementi MRT at almost 1pm- i bought a CAKE for dear friend’s belated birthday. Reached his place, met the mom. It feels like ages since I last met her. Miss, missed and missed. Had lunch at his place, and then headed down for the MAGIC SHOW. Somehow it feels like the moment we first met and became friends. Nice one my friend. Utterly impressed with his performance. After the show, we went back to his place and spend the evening there. Karaoke, and the sweetest cake-cutting I ever had for a guy friend in years.

Soon after, its already late evening- and we had to leave. I departed, hugging goodbyes to his mom. Saying goodbye is always the hardest thing to do, right?

Well, it’s nice to meet him again, after years. He’s one friend I never wish to lose one day. A good friend like him is worth keeping for life. I appreciate all that was done for me. Because I love him- no Subway from today onwards.

Speaking of cake- yesterday was Nana’s last day at TAB. I bought her one of my favourite chocolate cakes from Takashimaya as a farewell celebration gift. Apart from that, I wrapped some gifts with best wishes at her new ground. Nana’s been a great companion since day one- though we started off not talking much. Hopefully she’ll be happier at her new place. With love- i’m gonna miss you. Wait for me at your new place, I will definitely droppp by! *Saaaayyyyaaannngggg dieeeee*

lastthreemonths.

2010-09-30T12:39:00.005+08:00

It's already the end of September. Tomorrrow depicts the first day of October. The first day of the last quarter of 2010. Time flies really fast. It's only a matter of time, then 2010 will be over.

School is resuming on the 12th October, Tuesday. It's my last lap in RP. Last 15 weeks. Last 4 modules. If everything goes as planned, i'll be graduating in the next few months. Insya'allah.

And last night, after i'm done with work at Heaven's Loft, mamaLyna brought me to Overeasy. Remember Kinou? One of my Coffeeclub managers at OFC. He's working at ButterFac, and mamaLynn happens to have his contact. And she dialled him to meet outside ButterFac. Kinou, someone that me and Abang has been looking for all these years.

Good Guy, Respectable Reputation.

We were looking for him while mamaLynn was on the phone- and when I spotted him and he spotted us, it was a moment of speechless seconds. I made my way towards him as he walked towards me. Upon approaching him, all I could do was to huggg him and almost cried in front of many. I never let go of the warmest hug i ever felt after last Tuesday (Abang's departure from TAB) while i told him about how much he's been missed and what I've gone through to reach him the past years. I missed him like my own brother. After touring about Butterfac and being the VVIP for the night- I left for Overeasy.

At Overeasy, the first question that Hafis asked me was, "Dah tak dengan DI?". I look at my stepmama and she looked at me. No comments on that. While mamaLynn was brainwashing her brother, I had my own time by the scenetic view of MarinaBaySands and the cold river breeze at night. It's been a long time since I had that kind of own time. And that's when I thought about the meet up with Kinou after years. And the one line that was on my mind was that, "If only Ping is around, she would have cried and be the happiest girl on earth if she gets to meet Kinou again,". I still clearly remember that time she cried knowing Kinou was leaving Coffeeclub. But then again, moving on with her new life- I don't think Kinou even matters to her anymore.

Done with Kinou, moving on to Abang. For the second time I cried with regards to his farewell. First at OFC, Second at TAB. Clayton and Jeffrey must keep their promise to take care of me when he's not around. The big hugg that I got from Abang and Clayton that night- is like a handover thing.

Now that I found Kinou, and I have Abang. That concludes me to having TWO abangs' shoulders for me to cry on. I'll be meeting both of them at the same time and venue soon. It's something to look forward to I guess.

Kinou, Abang, TAB- done.

Now it's Shaikha. Where'd you go? I missed you so. It feels like its been forever that you've been gone. Not even a call or a text message? Today marked the exact SEVEN days I last hear from you. Where have you been? :(

Ain called me the day before yesterday. And Ain, it is such a small world. When you told me about Fauziah, it doesnt matter anymore. It's such a coincidence that I met her yesterday while I was on my way to work. All that is happening now is like an eye opener for me. Everything is happening right in front of my own eyes.

Then then then. It's about I MET A NICE GUY IN 2010. He's one nice person, but he has too many things on his mind. He gave me two stalks of flowers exactly a month ago. Stole my last kiss one night. And after I framed our picture and placed it on my desk, he became a stranger. Nevertheless, I'll still be waking him up and bring dinner for him- all because he is still my colleague and those are the least I could do for him. To make sure he's not late for work, and he's got dinner while at work :)

Just so you know that whatever decision you make, I'll still be who I am when we first met and become friends.

Tomorrow is SHANGHAI NIGHT at Heaven's Loft, and I'm dammnn excited.

The day after tomorrow is WAN'S Magic.

And Sunday is my streesss out day. Perhaps alone. But I wish she was there.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING!

Loft-ing.

2010-09-22T15:29:00.002+08:00

At times- in fact, most of the time- I feel lucky to have people like mamaLynna at workk. She will be aroundd to give me sweet advices and reminders.

Hi All, i'm just waiting for time to past to reach 4pm sharp. Then i'll wakeee him up and I cann get readdyyy to gooo to workk. Loft-ing todayy. Mama cooked rendangg today and I ate tonnes of themm. I was smiling at myself while I was about to start eating. Everytime before I eat, it will struck me that Syah used to read doa with me before meall. And now i never missed reciting the doa before makan everytime I start my meal. Amin.

sorry.

2010-09-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

Thanks for dropping by TampinesOne to see me.
But i don't need you to send me home.
Because I don't need ANYONE to send me home, not anymore.

I've got bus number 3 from Tampines, in case you don't know.
But nevertheless, i appreciate the effort made.

Now that you've seen me, I hope its done.

girls.

2010-09-18T08:42:00.003+08:00

Is it physically possible for you to stand behind your mother,

and for your mother to stand behind you at the same time?

Yes, if you stand back to back.

big question mark.

2010-09-18T04:11:00.000+08:00

Hello fellow readers.

It's super duper ultra lateee and i'm creatinnggg entrieees here. Well, I just came back from supper with mamaLynnn and her hubby at Adam's Corner. So, i'm kinda still wide awake after filling the empty tummy.

So i'm back at Heaven's Loft after two weeks of rest. And today (later), will mark my dead end at Coffeeclub- I'm quitting it after I first worked there since 2006. 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and finally 2010. I'm kinda done and over with it. Since Adrian's official last day with CC is tomorrow, I might as well take a stepp forward and headdd somewhere else. It has been a great pleasure to work with everyone there. From Azmee and JM, to Edward and Nica to Firdaus and Jenny. People along the way, there's too many- Alma, Di, Marini, Kinou, Corlee, Sheiful, Rian, Azmann- all managers and management staffs. Ma'am Aisha, Kelvin Chong, My awesome full timers- and wonderful part timers (you all know who you areee). If it's not because of the many trainings and lessons learnt at Coffeeclub since day one, I wouldn't be who I am today. Somebody used to tell me that, "OFC is like a mini-battlefield". I succeeded there. Until today, everytime I walk passed OFC, I always see how I used to be back then. It will always be a part of me- regardless of where I'll be next. Thanks guys for all the care, concern, love and support for the past fiveee years. You all make good companions (:

(i can't believe i'm actually cryingggg now)

Work is done. Next, -scchool. I'm starting my last lap in RP in three weeks time. It's ultimate scaryy. My last lappp to prove to many- what i'm capable of. I don't need anything, I only need everyone's support for my last fifteen weeks in RP. I knoww my lovely grandparentsss up there will be watching my every steppp in life. And i'm certain that I wouldnt wanna disappoint them in a way or another. With their prayers, I hope I can be what they want me to be.

Then it's my family. Things between us all- mama, papa, small sister and my little brother; nicely crafted. I'm enjoying every single moment spent with themm. I got my parents' support, that's all that I wanted.

When papa asked me the other day,

"Do you really like him?"

Somehow I sense fear inside him. Afraid that I may get hurt, scared that he'll lose me in a way or another. I didn't answer him. How am i suppose to tell papa that I really do like him? What will papa say or feel if he knows that it's not going to happen the way i want it to be?

When i'm in this kind of position- all I wanna hear is Abang and Lyna's rantings- Shaikha's wisdom words and Di's miracle advices.

I am not supposed to fall for you, right?

And the fact that i can't have you, just makes me want you more ♥

and i'm still waiting for your call.

no more smiles.

2010-09-16T07:24:00.002+08:00

I'm not supposed to love you

I'm not supposed to care

I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there.

I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do.

Meeting you was fate.
Becoming your friend was a choice.
But falling in love with you- something that I had no control over.

The night I fell for you- becomes the same night you told me not to do so.
Now that we've got lines between us, I'm taking a step back.

Di, just as i thought I'm ready to open up to many others- I guess it wasn't meant to be. Perhaps I should just stay the way I am, the way i used to be. Me with the girls, me and their stories. But one thing I'm positive about- he's a sincere one.

gone.

2010-09-15T13:09:00.002+08:00

u left me hanging, with nothing to hold on onto.

there's only one way out.

eidmubarak 2010.

2010-09-11T22:30:00.004+08:00

It's the second day of Aidilfitri.

Major difference this year, considering that it's the first time we're celebrating Hari Raya without nenek or atok on mama's side. Honestly, I was kinda saddd, every minute during the visitings. Nevertheless, since it's a happy celebration for the majority, I've got to live with it. First day of Raye was funn. I love babies. If there's one thing that I hate about family gatherings, it would be the Q&A session. The family love to ask me questions which either have no answer, or unanswerable. Die.

This year's entirely different- again. Last year, I felt complete- I had her to spend the entiree day with me. From afternoon, till evening. This year, it's just MY FAMILY. It ain't that bad. I love seeing the whole family wearing the traditional clothess that i boughttt for us all. FUN.

Oh, oh, oh. Similar to my Facebook post, I'm still kinda in a state of shock- after what happened this morning, at 0430hours. I haven't had this feeling before. One utterly weird but one-of-the-beautiful feelings I ever felt for the past 20 years of my life.

It brings me to a higher step in life, when it comes to boys-to-men kinda issue. Thanks MAMA. I wouldn't say thanks to PAPA, cos obviously he has been supportive towards me all these while. Finally mama understands what I really want (:

To all my loved ones, SAFIRAH, AIN, SHAIKHA, WAN and FIRDAUS plus ANGEL (if you're celebrating HARI RAYA)- Selamat Hari Raya to all of you. Maaf Zahir & Batin.

To all my muslim friends out there. Salam Lebaran to all of you.
Lots of Love,
HidayahYusoff.

CURRENT love.

2010-09-07T03:13:00.003+08:00

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you

And all you know and how you speak

Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep

Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat

I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me, someone like me

Someone like me, somebody

I'm ready now, (I'm ready now)

Someone like you, (somebody)

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

smiling to sleep.

2010-09-07T01:31:00.003+08:00

It's been awhile. Nyeeehaaa.

It's like almost 2am, and I just reached home. I had a long, but awesome day today. Slightly tired, considering that I didn't slept the whole of last night thinking about the current dilemma. And of course, I wasn't home till like 4am yesterday? TSK TSK.

So i slept till 10am this morning. Woke up, and i was dreading to go school for UT. UT was pretty normal, i think. Hehh. It's weird that when i saw her at the corridor, I make a detour and go the other way down. Hmm. I guess its just the thoughts running through my mind.

Well, after school- met Johnny Depp (Mukhsin) at Woodlands. His hair- ahaha. Inspiration from Edward Cullen, but still Johnny Depp. Proceeded to Velocity to meet Ishak at his workplace. It was so weird- Both planned to meet at the same day, and I decided that we shall make ONE venue for the two different meetings. I was talking to Mukhsin when Ishak sent me a bowl of the awesome-est CAESAR SALAD after Coffeeclub's. And after that, dessert. I tell you- it melts in the mouth like there's no tomorrow. Hehh. Spoke to Ishak about a couple of stuffs and then I had to leave both of them- to meet SHAIKHAAAAA. (:

Met her at DhobyG MRT station, as usual. Headed towards Plaza Singapuraa for window see-see. Hehhh. And we had all-time favourite ASTON's for dinner. YummmyYum. It was supposed to be Coffeeclub@RH for desserts. But somehow I didnt wanna go there. Sigh.

After all done with dinner, we went to CoffeeBeans@Singpost, Paya Lebar. Syah and Shah came down for drinksss. And we all lepak-ed until papa fetched me and Shaikha- around 1am? Uhhh Uhh. It was funn sitting with them. Nothing but stories and laughters. In between, I felt like I know another similar D's crew.

It was indeed a pleasant night. This whole week is gonna be exciting. Everything should turn out as planned.

Giving myself a break from work- I like spending time with you (:

last August.

2010-08-29T12:35:00.005+08:00

I walked away.

Watching you crafting your ways.

I expected you to run after me.

But you chose to make a detour.

Hi All.

I'll be prettty busy with studying for my UT during the upcoming 2 weeks. I'm sorry if i've not been picking up your calls or replying to your sms-es. I've got millions of reasons why I'm not doing so. I can't possibly be explaining to every single one of you the reasons WHY.

I've been doing good- baking snacks for upcoming Raye. I lost two kilograms, unfortunately. Not because I haven't been eating- But its due to lack of *smiles*. It's ironic. I'm having so much laughterr these days. I realise that i can stilll laugh my hearts out with the people around me. I enjoy every single minute of being with the crew. Three major events happened this week.

1) Iftar-ing with GIRLS at Nandos.

2) Grand Opening of TAB.sg

3) Hosting Ryan Cabrera Live in Singapore.

A moment of togetherness can make all my worries disappear, thanks GIRLS.

A stalk of rose can make a girl smile all the way until she sleeps, thanks Syah.

Probably a tinge of YOU- will make my entire world at ease, again.

Where have you been? You've been missing and I have been missing you.

Sadly, i've been missing all the right people for all the wrong reasons.

1) Not supposed to miss

2) Don't deserve to be missed at all

3) No point missing

Goingggg back to sleep now, Good Afternoon loves.

If i tell you that i'm ready, could we give it another shot?

happy birthday！

2010-08-17T11:41:00.000+08:00

Hello Guys. I’m now at Heaven’s Loft. Work starts at 11am. But here I am sitting down with Diana and San. Event starts at 4, work ends at 5pm (: In other words, I’ll only work for 1 hour. How cool can that be? >.<

Today’s gonna be a pretty fast day I suppose- Since I’ve got no plans. Today is 17th. It’s the exboyfriend’s birthday. Best wishes for you on your birthday sweets. As he add years to your life; may he add life to yours. With the berkat and nikmat of this fasting month, wishing you a blissful life ahead.

bibi.

2010-08-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

its ironic.

i missed you so much- yet i'm avoiding you for a million reasons.

happy hols!

2010-08-14T00:18:00.001+08:00

It is supposed to be:

"Hun, you're so hot that you could make the devil WET, not sweat.

P.S.
In case you forget, its the holidays. And fyp is over. We won't meet unless its necessary.
Happy holiday darling. I'll misss you (:

Di-Daya? epics.

2010-08-13T23:00:00.004+08:00

Can somebody explain to me what the hell is happening here?

Who the hell is Fatin? Who the fuck is Yanti?

Most importantly, WHO THE FUCK IS THE BLOODY LOSER that uses Yazid's account to post comments on MY facebook account?

I'm not angry. Not upset. I'm just sad. You wanna know why? I pity losers like these who can't take care of their own lives. And HAVE to bother others in one way or another.

Maybe Di is right. I should just ignore all these crap that is happening now. Cos unlike them, I've got better things to think of. DI-DAYA issues were long gone- and we both agree to it.

Am i suppose to delete my Facebook account to put an end to this?
Am i suppose to stop working at CoffeeClub then these will stop?

Wth. If you hate me so much, you deal with me only. Not Di. Not Di and her girlfriend. Di don't deserve this. She's living her life happily now. All I ever wished for, for Di- for her to be able to smile from the bottom of her heart once again. Now that she can, I hope she will live with it forever. No one should take that away from her. None.

the band.

2010-08-12T15:02:00.003+08:00

they like got similar baby faces (:

so you sailed away

2010-08-12T13:21:00.003+08:00

So, i haven't been updating things for almost a week?

4th August- was fyp evaluation. Afraid, nervous but it turned out pretty alright. thanks to Yvonne and Ping for all effort made in completing the project. More or less, we manage to accomplish the deliverables. *tap taps*

4th August- Chuk took a day off. He fetched me from RP, then proceeded to Vivocity and headed towards Marche for dinner. Ate my all-time favourite Rostii and Grilled Kampong Chicken. Sat by the view, evening clouds passed by. Wanted to go Heaven's but he was tired. So we headed to Tampines CoffeeBeans. Met Fahmi and gf, with Faiz, after so long. Simple, but beautiful evening (:

9th August- Another significant date in my history. I enjoyed my day, like totally. From the brunch to the dinner at Arab Street. It was supposed to be. S-U-P-P-O-S-E-D. But like, what the hell.

Got the news from Aslina about Mar. What?! There goes my plan to work midnight with her next week. *cry*. Headed to the IN-place after Wheelock. And you know what- I realise that the art of REAL flirting still exist me after the last season. I thought i lost it long ago. But slowly, its catching up with me as days passed. Maybe its not flirting, its just "making friends". Hahaa. I had fun with Lulu, Syah and Andy last night. And Ishak, thanks for sending me home.

Today is Heaven. I only want Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream for buke. Hahaha. How about one pint? *slap my head*

Abang, it's ironic that here I am- trying my best to love only one; when i know my doors are open for many. Yes, it's officially opened.

empowered.

2010-08-04T23:23:00.002+08:00

it's a decision i made- to stop the heart from blinding the mind.

just what is wrong with me?

i know all along, dat it was never meant for me. dat ur heart was stolen long ago. but still i keep insisting on keeping you. until today, i realise that it will never be mine once again. never.

now that fyp1 is over- we're done. up next, fyp2.

sweet sunday.

2010-07-25T09:34:00.002+08:00

Good morning sweets Sunday (:

I’m currently waiting for papa to send me to worrkkkk. Oohhh, my legs feel like it’s gonna break at any point of time. I’m not tired, I wanna work more, but the body’s aching terribly. Today’s is going to be until 10, again. Most probably, 11. I’ll be at HL for brunch, and CC for dinner. So, you know where to find me ok? HURHURHUR.

Well, yesterday was a damn good day. With the kids’ smiles before I leave for work in the morning- all the way to supper with Maman- and of course, the bestfriend in the world’s voice before I go to sleep. YAYY! I was busy preparing drinks for my bar order when my eye candy popped up in front of the bar. Hahaha. So unexpecteddd lor. Gave him his three forms, and den he left once his done. Tsk tsk. Sooo sooo good appeal. Ahahaha. And today, another friend of mine will be coming to apply for a job at HL too. Looks like HL’s gonna be an awesome place to work- hopefully (:
Anybody needs a job? Call me (:

After HL, left to Paragon for dinner. Ayil was working at Metro- and Corne at Adidas. Unbelievable uhh. At least got motivation to go Paragon to work >.< Time flies super fast at PS. And it’s closing already. Maman fetched me from Paragon, and we headed to my all time love for supper. Till papa fetched and Maman boarded the last train (:
Sweet Saturday, and today-SuperSweet Sunday. Hopefully your weekends bring seven colours to your life (:

Oh, and i miss miss miss. You know who? TWO of you! Damn it.

Abang, life is kinda empty without you around- I've got no one to share my everyday's what-had-happened stories to. I miss you a lot, *hugs*

i told you.

2010-07-22T10:11:00.001+08:00

OMG.

Did you just asked my 'WHY'?!

me loikey loikey!

2010-07-19T23:51:00.000+08:00

And of course, today is a wonderful Monday. Cos everytime I see your face, all my problems seems to vanish. Nothing but smilesss.
.
School was pretty fast today; apparently its due to the fact that I came in during second meeting? Oh wells, I was hungry- and i had to eat breakfast like, seriously. Sales was usual fun; and lunch time we had this Compulsory talk. ADIDAS. What-?!

UT after school, thank God it wasn't as difficult as the first. Surprisingly, it was pretty EASY. hopefully.... hopefully. After school, Aloysius send me to Kovan and i headed to meet Shaikha for dinner at our favourite ASTON. Like seriously- YUMMMY! After that, we headed to CoffeeClub for desserts. and D-zerts. The manager smell so nice, and as usual- I was caught up by it. tsk tsk.

We looked at the past photos- and i too, never realise that Alfi was that ****. Hahaha. And now that i'm home, i keep staring at it. LOL! I miss ALL of you in 2006. Well well. But what's past is past, isn't it? Ah ah. And now I have to go call that idiot- who keeps showing off his dream phone. tsk tsk.

Me not going to school tomorrow. Cos cos cos, my mood is kinda flushed awhile ago by a meaningful someone. It's pretty ironic ah. Hmm. I intend to go visit babySHAQ tomorrow and buy him cheeseburger- I wanna see him smile again. *heart pain* AND of course, i have to renew the passsport in order to go for the trip next week. yahoooooooo! k la, i'm knocking offf now. see u next Monday, rainbow (:

Why didn't you tell me? I was stuck, but that doesn't mean I can't decide.

new weeekkkk.

2010-07-19T00:43:00.004+08:00

And I would end this week with one word- FULFILLED (:

It was a whole week of total own hardwork, filled with sacrifices and full of determination.
I break through it, didn’t i? *pats on the back*

This week passed by super fast, with minimal setbacks- after so long. Somehow I felt relieved now. It’s like living life like it used to be.

Hugged AdriannnnFoo this morning at Coffeeclub Paragon. It’s been a long time since we had some time to talk things out. Well, at least now I’ve got nothing to hide from him. I was thinking- that there’s no way I can hide IT from him, cos sooner or later he’ll find out, eventually. Planning to goooo makannn with my godPA next week =D

This morning- talked to AhFoo.
Last night- talked to Ma’am Aisha.

Ma’am said, “I’d rather have you at my area- at least I know I got one reliable staff, even if you’re just a part-timer.” Best! And so I was at Coffeeclub RH at midnight- till 3am, when papa fetched me. I had my all-time favourite drink (IEV), the awesome-EST creamy mushy soup and a glass of house pour WHITE wine. Not forgetting, CheeseCamp!

This week itself, i clocked 60 hours of work- effortlessly. The best part was Friday- when I had to work at Heaven’s till 1am; despite the fact that i had to attend school in the morning. Thank God, none is giving me unsatisfactory feelings at work.

My schedule for this week, that has gladly passed (: *Phew!

Now that I got no more personal commitments, I guess its back to square one. Back to the days when working was all that matters most. I didn’t have any heartache when I was at square one. Shouldn’t it start from there, all over again? But without someone like Abang, will things be the same?

Hopefully it will, cos I’m certain Lyna, Fie and Carlos will be there for me. Maybe not ALL THE TIME, but at least MOST of the time I need them.

I wanna thank all for supporting me in my decision-making all these while. Especially Shaikha, who have been by my side whether I’m up or I’m down.

And of course, I wish to apologise to people like H, Q, A, M, Y, and F- Unconsciously, I disappoint all of you with my words. I didn’t mean to hurt you all, I was in a world of denial.

Now my mind is cleared, my heart is no longer messy. It’s open to all. Thanks to all that had happened, thanks to that rainbow- who joined the missing dots that was necessary in making me feel complete, as a whole.

Looking forward to another awesome dinner after UT later with love, and of course, precious words from the memories.

I'm swallowing all the things you said, all the words you used at me. It hurts like crazy, but at least I know your trueself now. Thank you, so so much.

SAT awesome night out!

2010-07-14T00:05:00.001+08:00

The complete 10 (:

Remember Dandy Daya? Hahaha. More photos on FB (:

qil.riq.

2010-07-13T13:38:00.002+08:00

The Brother(:

The Baby (:

Oooh, so cute. I miss them so so much. Tomorrow going to fetch the brother in the afternoon and visit the baby after that. Hearing the brother's voice makes me feel like eating ice cream. damn it.

But what the hell, i'm banned from consuming cold stuffs from now onwards- in order for me not to suffer in pain like yesterday. tsk tsk. Luckily got Angels, if not~ TSK TSK.

Who called me using PRIVATE NUMBER yesterday?! It's utterly ridiculous to have missed calls from UNKNOWNS when only a handful of you have my number. Sshit!

after 3 weeks of flu, i'm finally getting better! yayy!

2010-07-13T09:54:00.003+08:00

FYP mid sem evaluation remarks:
"LARGELY ON TRACK" - awesome (:
*pats on the back*

~~~~~~~~~~

HEAVEN'S LOFT, is currently hiring part-timers who are willing to work at any day, any time (:

~~~~~~~~~~

Angela said.

"Daya! You cannot drink any more cold drinks from now onwards!
Only warm water. No coke."

Its funny when u realise things are getting better when u're feeling worst than ever.
>.<

Thank You, for ending my day with diabetes (:

tied down to what i do not want to do.

2010-07-12T12:08:00.003+08:00

One of the worse things in life is caring about someone and wondering how they’ve been and what they’ve been up to when they’ve stopped thinking about you a long time ago.

I'd love so much to help.
I wish i can see you not troubled.
But then again, where do I stand?

no-where.

My Learning Style- The SOLITARY (:

2010-07-12T09:35:00.002+08:00

The Solitary (intrapersonal) Learning Style

If you have a solitary style, you are more private, introspective and independent. You can concentrate well, focusing your thoughts and feelings on your current topic. You are aware of your own thinking, and you may analyze the different ways you think and feel.

You spend time on self-analysis, and often reflect on past events and the way you approached them. You take time to ponder and assess your own accomplishments or challenges. You may keep a journal, diary or personal log to record your personal thoughts and events.

You like to spend time alone. You may have a personal hobby. You prefer traveling or holidaying in remote or places, away from crowds. You feel that you know yourself. You think independently, and you know your mind. You may have attended self-development workshops, read self-help books or used other methods to develop a deeper understanding of yourself.

You prefer to work on problems by retreating to somewhere quiet and working through possible solutions. You may sometimes spend too much time trying to solve a problem that you could more easily solve by talking to someone. You like to make plans and set goals. You know your direction in life and work. You prefer to work for yourself, or have thought a lot about it. If you don’t know your current direction in life, you feel a deep sense of dissatisfaction.

Common pursuits and phrases:
Those that have a strong solitary style include authors, researchers, park rangers and security guards. Peak performers in any field often have a good solitary style behind other more dominant styles. You are more likely to use phrases that reflect your other dominant styles.

Here are some other phrases you may also use:

"I’d like some time to think it over."

"This is what I think or feel about that."

"I’d like to get away from everyone for a while."

"I’ll get back to you on that."

congratulations. you shattered my heart into pieces.

2010-07-11T22:18:00.002+08:00

Hopefully it’s a sign from God- informing me that it will be a good start to everything new this second half of the year. Well, the first half has been really shitty. I lost the one I love-D most. I did a lot of things, wrong. I see all the things, blindly."

To all my cousins. I had unlimited fun yesterday. Love you all lots!

After squeezing much of my brain juice, I realise that all these while- I was just another one of your spare tyres, literally. You reach me as and when you feel like, it. And go missing as and when you feel like you have to. WHAT? That I don’t understand.

If you can be happy, I deserved to be happy too- right? Last time, indeed you USED to make ME happy. But now, it’s more of you USED me to make YOURSELF happy. This should be put to an end. You don’t want to lose me; but at the same time, you don’t intend to keep me either. Correct me if I’m wrong. If i’m selfish, then you are more selfish than me. And, you can never be less heartless than I am. You wanna know why?
I really wish that you’re born with a heart, at least.

To the world’s most wonderful brother, I adore you with all my heart. Wherever you go, whatever you do- I wish you all the best, and a blissful happy family to occupy your life. All the things you taught me- the skills and knowledge, I promise you- I will bring the best out of it.

Anyway guys, I lost my 9150**** mobile on Friday, and 8152**** on Saturday. Salute me for my carelessness. *slaps forehead*. I already changed to a new number. Just PM me for it okay (:

I’ve got a long week ahead of me. I hope it’s gonna be smooth sailing. Afterall, isn’t every day a gift from above?

All I have now is me, myself and Daya. We'll go through this rough patch together. No matter what happens, we will stay strong to face all these obstacles and challenges that life has in store. Heartaches happens. So?

Cheers (:

my feelings will remain.

2010-07-07T22:33:00.002+08:00

its a feeling i never felt before.

its been more than 36 hours, and i'm still up. I was up the whole night yesterday- not even a sleep since Tuesday morning.

i have to admit that it takes more than just guts in order to be able to express what our true feelings are. not everyone can understand. except for the one.

nevertheless, it was great talking to u. hearing ur wisdom words again.

in life, we live with memories that will add colours to our current life. till we meet again, i hope.
i'll update more tomorrow. as for now, its nothing but some chocolate indulgence.

OH, my abang is now a papa. YAYYY (:

seven plus two minus one.

2010-06-13T22:25:00.005+08:00

It’s such a small world. It’s all so messed up. Everyone is linked to another. Just when I thought I met someone new, someone fresh- I was wrong. H knows Y, F, and even D. And H, I hope you won’t judge me from what I told you just now. I’m sure one day or later, you will come across this space of mine- and find out the whole truth of what had happened throughout my life since I turned 18. It just happened. I find no explanations for it.

Shaikha. Safirah. Ain. Angel. Wan. F1.

The ones that I mentioned above- in a way, you people defined who I am today. Some of you know me best. Some are near- but yet too far. Some are far, but yet so near. It’s a complicated thing. It’s funny how Shaikha can make me feel wonderful with the little things that she did. It’s weird that i will always look for Safirah, knowing that she’s alright. It’s unexplained why Ain can make my problems vanished with her words. It’s a dear to know that Angel is there for me, when i was in a difficult position.

Wan. He’s one of those whom you wish can be by your side, while you’re attempting to do something wrong.

F1. He’s one of those whom you wish can be by your side, when you attempted something right.
Wan and F1, perfect MUST HAVE companions. And I still remember the time when the both of you- of all places, worked together :)

So many things happened. I know.

Everyone makes mistakes. But it’s our duty to forgive them as a friend, right? Despite the many individual commitments that all of us have, I’m pretty sure the ones listed above- will be the first, if not the last to make me feel that life has more to it than just what it is to me.

I’ll talk about Ping and Qayyum in my next entry. And then followed by the most long-awaited, Di.

Thanks Khal, for the gift :)

hotcakes with sausage.

2010-06-13T10:27:00.005+08:00

Tuning back into school mode.
Looking forward to the YOG break.

Tomorrow, i will go to school- back again (with an end in the mind AND something to look forward to at the end of the day, of course). So that school won't dread.

I need to be stern in making choices. I need to learn how to say NO. It's what the heart wishes for. But the mind needs to be more firm in controlling what the heart drives you to. Follow what the heart, or the mind says? I followed my heart, but it keeps backfiring me. The heart lied to me so many times. Is it time to no longer listen to the heart, and follow what the mind says?

Maybe what they say is true. There are those people you encounter in life whom you never really get over. Even if you meet others who treat you better and love you more, there is always that person you can’t quite completely forget at the back of your mind.

cos you're hot and you're cold.

2010-06-13T03:49:00.002+08:00

TOO MUCH TOO MUCH!

Time now: 3:51am. I just reached home, like 10 minutes ago. Papa fetched sis, Fish and me from Public House. How I wish I could stay longer.

Well, today was a short, last minute day- I am still sick but i can still work.

He said, “Eh, you don’t act like you’re some superwoman ah- later if you faint, no hero is going to save you okay! If you really cannot take it, I will release you early”.

Fish said, “Eh, working hard uh? Saw you while I was inside the bus...”

Marini patted on my forehead and said, “No temperature, Liar!” Halo, no one said I was having fever what. MC means fever only ah? TSK TSK. Well, i forced myself to work even though i’m kinda super unfit to continue; all because of something to look forward to once i’m done with work.

And the day goes on with me controlling the pain- thanks to those who cares so much about my well-being. I am still fine, still able to accomplish many tasks for the day! TSK TSK.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He’s hot, but not as hot as me right? I know.” Hahaha. I neither agree nor disagree to your statement. Only Daya knows.

“Aren’t you tired of eating?”

"Since when you started drinking?"

“You look meaty.”

“Come, smell me”.

TSK TSK. Cannot cannot. I will just bite*grrrr*

What a small world. Casey knows all of them. And De knows everything. Today i spent another $117. *slams head*.

For two consecutive days, I feel like I’m above the mountains =)

After so long, today comes along. Why is it that every time good things happened when its almost the end of the holidays?

Even though you are just there, I will still be here- continuously appreciating you from far. No one has to know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now it’s proven- that I’m erased totally from your mind; and heart. All the best. All that you said to me- bullshit.

cheese camp.

2010-06-11T23:51:00.005+08:00

my next love!

Mama said to Papa: Today, your daughter came home smiling and smiling non-stop.

Papa said to Mama: Your daughter came home smiling- you make noise. Came home upset, also make noise.

Mama said to Papa: Today she like macam some mad woman since she came home.

Papa said to Mama: Let me ask her what happened today.

Papa to Daya: Why are you so happy?

Daya to Papa: Happy? What makes you say so?

Papa to Daya: Hmm. Must be something that happened earlier today.>

Daya to Papa: Of course! My checklist completed!

Papa to Daya: What checklist?

Daya to Papa: Not work, not school, but personal one. HAHAHA.

Papa and Mama to Daya: Something wrong arh yoou?

Daya to Papa and Mama: Yes, something absolutely wrong. =)))))

Well well. It's not about knowing why you're there. But it's about WHAT DRIVES you there. Just by watching, it made my weekends a happy start. Well, perhaps my beautiful friend is right- about who define the meaning of l***.

I did the right things for the wrong person- one who treated my heart like a toy, not a muscle. It was supposed to be the strength, but it seems like as if my heart can be played with, by you.

I wished that i could have longer holidays,

and everyday is like today :)

I wanna see you all the time, even though you're just there =D

I can just kill myself. For 5 days only, i've spent almost $870. Considering the fact that i only went out on Monday and Friday. WOAHHHH. Well, who else can i pamper? If not for myself.

Maybe De? She may not be worth pampering, but she definitely deserve it =)

seven.

2010-06-11T00:31:00.002+08:00

It's past midnight.

Today is FRIDAY :)

Today i wanna look pretty and beautiful.
Today i need to see your smile.
Today i wish to smell your scent.
Today i hope i will hear your voice.

And most importantly, Today, i believe you will make me feel better.

All because you're that rainbow :)

i never walk away, i chosed to stay.

2010-06-10T01:38:00.002+08:00

Some things happened for reasons that even reasons themselves cannot explain. It does not follow what the heart says. It happened beyond the heart’s expectations.

Maybe it happened for good, maybe it isn’t. Maybe what he said was true. Life was made to be perfect. Only human, we ourselves- chose to be blinded by the existence of imperfections of life. There is nothing as a wrong choice made. If choices are made available, why choose the wrong one? That’s why they are called ‘choices’. It is not about the choices we made, but it’s about the factors that drove us to choose them.

My mind surrenders as it is officially tired of having so many thoughts the past few days. I need to be dominant in the mind- in order not to be weakened by the heart. A big thank you to those who made the effort to make me feel like nothing happened. I’m still trying my very best- to accept the way things are now. Nobody said it was easy, yes I know. But what if it is one thing that you have ever wanted all your life? What if it’s a feeling that none others can make you feel?

But if sacrificing my hopes and dreams is equal to seeing the one happy, then I’ll be more than willing to do what it takes. It doesn’t matter how much it kills me deep inside. Even if I were to lose a part of myself, I know it’s worth it. I had my time. I felt what I was made to feel. I thank God, for the chance to at least know and be loved by you. And I thank you, for making a period of my life colourful, and allowing me to experience one of the most unforgettable moments that life has in store. Indeed, I am grateful.

I’d rather not to be loved at all (again); then to feel the love that was never mine, or was supposed to be mine. Maybe Papa is right. I should only fall in love with the one who loves me more than he does. Someone who treasures me like how one wants to be treasured himself.

Every morning when I opened my eyes, I say your name- hoping that you will always be protected, no matter where you are, what you’re doing or who you’re with.

If I tell you that I did not cry every night, thinking about it. I’m telling you now- it’s a total lie.

And no matter if you choose to stay or go,

My life is forever changed.

Just because you loved me

For a moment in time.

And because I choose

To love you

For the rest of mine.

a note from a used- to- be friend.

2010-06-09T00:07:00.001+08:00

To let go of someone doesn’t mean we have to stop loving; it only means that we allow that person to find his or her own happiness without expecting him or her to come back.

Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting ourselves free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that we keep in our heart.

Do not let the bitterness take away our strength and weaken our faith, and never allow pain to dishearten us; but rather let ourselves grow with wisdom in bearing it.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.

You don’t have to forget someone you love.
What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

quote.

2010-06-06T23:06:00.003+08:00

"I feel like you are the reward for everything right that i have done in my life."

sunday morning.

2010-06-06T10:52:00.003+08:00

sunday morning rain is falling.

good afternoon people. i'm going bonkerss. today's plan is to research, research and research on how to fix my kneees. and preventing it from breaking again. oh, i so feel like eating soto ayam now.

rainy weather and hot soup. *slurp slurp slurp*

we show people the smiles, not the tears.

06.06.10

2010-06-06T01:32:00.004+08:00

tick tock tick tock. It's almost 2am?! TSK TSK. Not bad ah. I still can survive. 24 hours already.

Well well. Since i'm like physically disabled, i did a lot of organizing things for my life with effect from this month onwards. Not bad ah, slight changes here and there. I guess its all for the best :)

Hmmm. The following are the list of things that i need to complete before 15th June.

1) Buy working shoes from MUJI.

2) Top up my HYBRID concession

3) Singtel Bill-S.

4) Get $$$ from Shahrizan

5) Eat Caesar Salad with Garlic Chicken

That's all! I'll be working on fyp report the whole of next Monday and have been on it since Friday night. Not bad ah, quite on track =)

Hmmm. My savings are pretty stable now. Thanks to the respective working places, which caters to the 3 different banks.

1)UOB (Coffeeclub)
2)POSB (ProjectShop)
3)Standard Chartered (Heaven's Loft ROCKS)

Ok! I've deposited the funds into the three accounts respectively. Good job! Time to buy that beautiful anklet that i saw. HMMM! And then it's 6th June. It marks exactly ONE year since HL first opened! How fast time flies~ =)))) I'm now going to fix my knees for tomorrow's therapy. damn it. i was SUPPOSED to pamper myself with another pair of heels yesterday. tsk tsk. its okay, i'll buy one as a reward for taking good care of the kness once it functions back to normal =))) *kneeguard damn blardy expensive. stupid hospital.

HMMM. i'm exerting my full force on work- to avoid thinking or feeling anymore. bcos its all total pretence. ex number two, so much for my happy ending. thanks for acting like you care, and making me feel like i was the only one.

goodnight guys, till Monday evening, at the hotel =)

haiyo.

2010-06-05T00:48:00.001+08:00

actually hor!

i ish wanna sleep one lor! 2 nights no sleep le.
i want to sleep, but the eyes don't wanna close one lehhh.

haiyyya. 2 plus one night le lor.

vacancy!

2010-06-04T00:55:00.001+08:00

Hi Guys!

Heaven's Loft is currently hiring PART-TIMERS who can work on weekends only.
Interested applicants must be good looking.

Drop me a mail at hid1903@hotmail.com with your contact details.

It's open to public =) Hurry, get your space NOW~

mindset.

2010-06-04T00:49:00.001+08:00

if i can't live without you, i'll live alone.

my nose finally bleed.

note.

2010-06-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

disposable, used and insignificant.

that is how much i'm worth to you.

you don't apologise, unless you understand the meaning of feelings.

did.

2010-06-02T22:31:00.001+08:00

they will eventually subside - its killing me right now.

its not fun. outright horrible. wonder what i did wrong, what i could have done differently, and what i did to deserve this kind of pain.

the answer to all of those questions is the same: Nothing. it does not happen overnight.

It might not be easy and it might not be fair, but it's an inevitable part of every single one of them.

chalet.

2010-05-31T01:05:00.002+08:00

my colleagues are trying to make me drunk while i'm doing proposal NOW.

help!

migraine.

2010-05-30T00:51:00.004+08:00

never did it struck me that i would feel this way. why did i do that? i am not supposed to do nothing of such. ahh, i'm kinda confused with things now. i'm on that line, again. remain, or just falll. maybe i should just be ignorant. just.

well, today's a fast day. blink blink blink. i just came back from de bar loft, with the two idiots. oh oh oh. did i mention anything abt a paragon someone? oh oh oh. thanks for the beautiful hairpin, it's very elegant (:

if there's two things to loook forward to- it will be fyp meeting and chalet later! I wanna eat eat eat. Apparently the food are catered, so there's nothing to worry about. yayy!

everything is going fine, exccept the head. its killing me. and owen said i lost weight.

hmmm. why should i make her my priority, when i'm just one of her other options.. and that i don't understand.

hey friends, take care. i'm off.

what!

2010-05-29T00:33:00.001+08:00

Just so you know that i’m really upset. Not even a call, not even a text.

Hmmm. It’s almost 0100hours, and i’m still up- despite the long working hours for Vesak Day. Woke up at 0800hours this morning, and then papa sent me to Paragon. Oh, Armani Exchange is having 70% off sale. I bought a basic AX tee from there. Cheap cheap cheap! And PROJECTSHOP is having a storewide 50% and 70% off respectively on various wallets, bags and shirts. Go visit us NOW! Well, there’s lke 10 000 retail outlets having awesome sale now. Including NIKE, which I was planning to buy a pair of running shoes from. Heee. Drex and I plannn to go shopping together next week. TSK TSK. What are we all waiting for? Then it’s the loft. HL also got GSS sale. It’s like a high tea set in conjunction with the nationwide promotions.
Heee, working at OC and PGN enables me to enjoy benefits like a lot a lot a lot! =)

*Pampering Awaits Me*

Emotionally Upset. What the hell is wrong with me?

What do you take me as? I’m not a fool, to be taken advantage of. I’m not going to say ITS OKAY anymore, cos its not working. Cos its not worth the pain.
I certainly believe that i deserve a fair share of life’s authentic indulgence. And it’s only a matter of time. I JUST realised that that i’ve been doing all the right things for one who doesn’t deserve it, not a bit.

Thanks abang. For making me feel happy for that moment.

I wish to see YOU YOU YOU.

brainny.

2010-05-25T15:48:00.001+08:00

Cna yuo raed tihs? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

So... Shaikha HOW? Spelling important or not?

sexciting (:

2010-05-24T10:01:00.001+08:00

Hello MOTO (:
I reached school like an hour ago, and i can tell you- that I am damn shagged. But nevertheless, weekends was full of awesome fun with, WORK. What the hell. Yeah, people are having so much fun during the weekends, and me- work. TSK TSK. But its alright, at least work occupy my thoughts- rather than some other things which kills me deep inside (:

Oh Oh! I’m going to have a permanent fitness trainer soon. I wanna have muscles and a super TRIM FIT bodd. Not flabby, anymore (: And then one day, you’ll look back at me and say,
“Damn, that girl was supposed to be mine, “.HAHAHAHA. Awesome-ness.

If Drexler Ong sees this, he will knock my head- i think.

I haven’t seen EC number 1 for a couple of weeks already. Miss Miss Miss:)

And my EC number 2 is feeling down due to the lost of one of his best friends. Hopefully he will feel better soon, though it’s hard to accept fate the way it is.

OKAY OKAY. My weekend was good, except the fact that people keep questioning me about *** *** ****. Everywhere, everyone. Tsk tsk. And one VIP came to HL yesterday. JEFFREY KOH! He introduced me as SCREW SCREW to his girlfriend. I’m like, “Hi, my name is Screw Screw.”. Lol, then we chatted the whole night at the loft. It was nice to see him again, and i so miss doing opening with him.

On Saturday was fully dedicated one organization. I went to work with nothing else but EZLINK. There’s a new university in Singapore- SUTD. Event was successful, turnover was good. I ate TONNES of roastbeef. Best! I ate CFB after work, as usual- thanks Audrey! =)
Well. Nothing interesting happened. Only ONE or TWO thing. And now i’m in school. Oh man!

School is getting exciting you know! With things to look forward to EVERY SINGLE DAY (:

I've been feeling HIGH HIGH HIGH (:

e.c.

2010-05-18T11:17:00.003+08:00

I used to see the EC in the lifts and corridors around RP.
And now i'm seeing EC on cammy.

AND AND.

this morning, inside 169- the man beside me was using JPG parfume!
oh my. i cn just die!

Sales Management~

2010-05-17T15:21:00.000+08:00

More PHOTOS on FB!

ps

2010-05-17T15:13:00.001+08:00

Good afternoon guys. It’s like half past 2 and i’m almost dead in class. Like literally dead. I need a SPARK. I need THINGS TO DO!!

Oh wells. I had a FUN-FILLED week the past week. Despite so many shit stuffs that has happened. Oh Oh! FUN, internally.

So i’m back at PS; and i’m LOVING IT! Well, i didn’t mean to go MIA-ing. Just resting. But now i’m back- So yeah. CARLOS is so so so idiotic. Well, at least there’s him and Indra to make the clock ticks soooo much faster at w-o-r-k. Bought coffee for Indra last week. Oh, we had MC and Old Chang Kee for breakfast. YUMMY! Jaja will make me laugh nonstop with her comical childhood stories. And Jon will continuously ask if i’m doing OK! Haha. Yupp Yupp. And there’s two more guys who JUST joined and i tell you- they are extremely reliable. Especially RB (: And CARLOS owe me a date, because he SCOLDED ME! By the way, CARLOS is my Outlet Manager. Anyone wanna work? We’ve got an awesome crew! We provide FOOD (:

Did i mentioned that i was REPRIMANDED on Monday? I think so. Okay. Well, he got his rights anyway. Then then then. Met Kelvin Chong and Ishak at Raffles Place on Tuesday. Work on Wednesday. Met A at Tampines. Waited for S and A. Met Q and F. Why am in typing with only initials?? OK OK. HL on Thursday. FYP Meeting on Friday. Dinner at Swensens with P. PS and HL on both SAT and SUNDAYS. Woooohooo. Very fast (:

But where is S and S and A?

My SECOND WEEK of JUNE, is gonna be a FUN FILLED week ((:

u did it!

2010-05-11T20:49:00.002+08:00

Hello peeps. I’m currently sitting and chilling at Starbucks@Clifford while watching Marina Bay Sands and the peaceful river accompanying the night. Hmmm. Today was a pretty relaxing day. We had a surprise birthday celebration for Syasya during second breakout. It was simple, yet fun (:

After school, cabbed down to Republic Plaza to meet two of my ex-managers. Slacked with them, drink Starbucks at RP- talked for a couple of hours, then we went separate ways.

And to ***** ****** *****, please stop taking snapshots of my butt!!

Anyway, i'll be at PS tomorrow till 4pm, den perhaps hang around somewhere to study for Thursday's ut :(

I wanna watch THE BACKUP PLAN :(